Yes, I know what you're saying. Where the fuck is my Mad Money review? Relax. I'll have reviews of Mad Money, 27 Dresses, Rambo, Untraceable, and The Eye as soon as I get the time. Misio has asked me to post my January Awards, so I shall.
Before I do, let me explain why I'm doing this. Take notes.
Each month will have its own awards. Becoming a semi-finalist for the end year awards. January-March, April-June, July-September, and October-December will provide the finalists. I do this to give a chance to the early releases. I know I suck for that, but oh well. It keeps me occupied.
Here go the awards:
Best Picture: Cloverfield
This one really wasn't close. I found this to be a modern classic, while Rambo (it's only competition) was barely good enough to get a thumbs up, grade.
Best Director: Matt Reeves, Cloverfield
Best Actor: Michael Stahl-David, Cloverfield
Best Actress: Katherine Heigl, 27 Dresses
Best Supporting Actor: James Marsden, 27 Dresses
Best Supporting Actress: Lizzy Caplan, Cloverfield
Best Cinematography: Cloverfield
Best Ad Campaign: Cloverfield
Best Original Screenplay: Cloverfield
Best Adapted Screenplay: Rambo
Best Comedy/Musical: 27 Dresses
Best Soundtrack: Cloverfield
Best Art Direction: Cloverfield
Best Poster: Cloverfield
Best Website: Rambo
Best Costume/Set: Rambo
Best Cast: First Sunday
Best Visual Effects: Cloverfield
Monday, February 4, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Cassandra's Dream (aka Trixie's Nightmare, okay maybe not that bad)
Since this was widely an unknown movie to casual movie fans, I'll give you a rundown of the plot.
Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell play very close brothers from a hardworking family in London. When Ewan falls in love with a local stage actress, he pretends to be a high class business man. Things between them get serious, and his thirst for riches and celebrity needs to turn to reality sooner rather than later. Colin, on the other hand, has racked up a huge debt to the loan sharks, after a bad night of poker. They both turn to their socialite uncle, played by Tom Wilkenson. He agrees to pay the boys whatever they need, but only if they take out a man who is going to testify against him.
After unwillingly doing so, they are sent spiraling in a pit of guilt and depression.
From what I've seen of Woody Allen, he is good at two things, charming people and shocking them. In Cassandra's Dream, I'm not sure even he knew what he wanted to do. The film just seemed to run in circles. The mission is set up for them to set out on. Farrell tells Ewan that he doesn't want to do it. They compromise that it's all they can do. Skip ahead five minutes, repeat scene.
One thing that stands out in this movie, is the out of nowhere performance that Haley Altwell gives as Ewan's love interest. It almost balanced out the annoyance of Ewan's whiny character.
Plot: 5/10 - The concept is fine, but the whining and lack of build up hurt it.
Characters: 4/10 - Farrell carries the load here. Ewan's character does nothing but hurt this.
Casting: 6/10 - Farrell good. Altwell Good. Wilkenson decent. Ewan bad.
Directing: 4/10 - Couldn't get the tone to fit the story.
Advertising: 4/10 - The trailer wasn't bad, nor was the site. The poster looks like a cheesy photoshop job that HTG might make.
Dialogue: 3/10 - The constant whining and repeating of conversations made me want to punch a wall.
Pacing: 4/10 - At times the story flowed nicely, but mainly it just dragged.
Enjoyment: 4/10 - Found myself losing attention at times.
Style: 3/10 - Seemed like a hybrid of charming and shock, formed mainly out of chaos and confusion.
Misc: 6/10 - I was introduced to Haley Altwell.
Overall: 43% D
Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell play very close brothers from a hardworking family in London. When Ewan falls in love with a local stage actress, he pretends to be a high class business man. Things between them get serious, and his thirst for riches and celebrity needs to turn to reality sooner rather than later. Colin, on the other hand, has racked up a huge debt to the loan sharks, after a bad night of poker. They both turn to their socialite uncle, played by Tom Wilkenson. He agrees to pay the boys whatever they need, but only if they take out a man who is going to testify against him.
After unwillingly doing so, they are sent spiraling in a pit of guilt and depression.
From what I've seen of Woody Allen, he is good at two things, charming people and shocking them. In Cassandra's Dream, I'm not sure even he knew what he wanted to do. The film just seemed to run in circles. The mission is set up for them to set out on. Farrell tells Ewan that he doesn't want to do it. They compromise that it's all they can do. Skip ahead five minutes, repeat scene.
One thing that stands out in this movie, is the out of nowhere performance that Haley Altwell gives as Ewan's love interest. It almost balanced out the annoyance of Ewan's whiny character.
Plot: 5/10 - The concept is fine, but the whining and lack of build up hurt it.
Characters: 4/10 - Farrell carries the load here. Ewan's character does nothing but hurt this.
Casting: 6/10 - Farrell good. Altwell Good. Wilkenson decent. Ewan bad.
Directing: 4/10 - Couldn't get the tone to fit the story.
Advertising: 4/10 - The trailer wasn't bad, nor was the site. The poster looks like a cheesy photoshop job that HTG might make.
Dialogue: 3/10 - The constant whining and repeating of conversations made me want to punch a wall.
Pacing: 4/10 - At times the story flowed nicely, but mainly it just dragged.
Enjoyment: 4/10 - Found myself losing attention at times.
Style: 3/10 - Seemed like a hybrid of charming and shock, formed mainly out of chaos and confusion.
Misc: 6/10 - I was introduced to Haley Altwell.
Overall: 43% D
Cloverfield
I don't know what to say about this movie that hasn't already been said. I'll keep the review shorter than usual due to the amount of spoilers I could accidentally spill. First off, anyone who tells you this is Godzilla meets The Blair Witch Project, is a dirty liar -- and their parents probably don't love them. The truth is, this is a movie like nothing you've seen before. Yes, the documenting of horror is comparable to The Blair Witch, but no one gave a shit about the three characters in that travesty. You just sat and wished the witch would come and take care of them. In Cloverfield, the writer and director do a good job of making the audience really hope Rob, Lilly, Marlena, Hud, and Beth make it through the night.
Even if they are five prime examples of the facebook generation (that I am sadly connected with as well).
At times, better than watching the movie, was observing the crowd in the theater. Never in my life, have I sat in a packed room (not an empty seat) and it was absolutely silent, faces showing fear they may have never felt in their lives. THAT, in my opinion, is what makes this far more than just a monster movie. That is what makes this an instant classic.
Plot: 10/10 (thought it was perfect)
Characters: 6/10 (it's rare to see writers keep away from horror stereotypes. this is one of those occasions)
Casting: 8/10 (I never heard of any of these actors going into the film. I now hope they get bigger roles for years to come.)
Directing: 9/10 (This thing cost 25 M and it was done without a glaring flaw. Bravo.)
Advertising: 10/10 (The internet was crazy. Everything was so cryptic, I started believing this actually happened.)
Dialogue: 7/10 (Thank God for Hud. "It would be scary as shit to see a flaming homeless man running at us.")
Pacing: 9/10 (It started a little slow, but without the slow start, we wouldn't have given a shit about anyone.)
Enjoyment: 10/10 (I don't think I need to explain myself.)
Style: 10/10 (This was a ten as soon as I heard about the idea.)
Misc: 9/10 (This is the score I'm giving the monster. See for yourself.)
Total: 88% A
Even if they are five prime examples of the facebook generation (that I am sadly connected with as well).
At times, better than watching the movie, was observing the crowd in the theater. Never in my life, have I sat in a packed room (not an empty seat) and it was absolutely silent, faces showing fear they may have never felt in their lives. THAT, in my opinion, is what makes this far more than just a monster movie. That is what makes this an instant classic.
Plot: 10/10 (thought it was perfect)
Characters: 6/10 (it's rare to see writers keep away from horror stereotypes. this is one of those occasions)
Casting: 8/10 (I never heard of any of these actors going into the film. I now hope they get bigger roles for years to come.)
Directing: 9/10 (This thing cost 25 M and it was done without a glaring flaw. Bravo.)
Advertising: 10/10 (The internet was crazy. Everything was so cryptic, I started believing this actually happened.)
Dialogue: 7/10 (Thank God for Hud. "It would be scary as shit to see a flaming homeless man running at us.")
Pacing: 9/10 (It started a little slow, but without the slow start, we wouldn't have given a shit about anyone.)
Enjoyment: 10/10 (I don't think I need to explain myself.)
Style: 10/10 (This was a ten as soon as I heard about the idea.)
Misc: 9/10 (This is the score I'm giving the monster. See for yourself.)
Total: 88% A
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Day Zero (aka Yes, this movie exists)
If you are a New York outsider, like myself, and are looking for reasons to instill your hatred for those who live in the city and swear that there is nothing better, watch DAY ZERO.
In the future, the war on terror in the Middle East has gotten out of control and the dreaded draft has been put back in place. Three long time friends have all been picked and have thirty days to report for service. The three men proceed to act like they're the only people who exist with this dilemma and take long hard looks at their beliefs, their successes/failures, and their own mortality.
The character easiest to hate in my opinion is the played by JON BERNTHAL, who portrays a cab driver who doesn't need anyone. Ironically, he is the one who seems to be the character they attempted to be the heroic of the three, because he believes in the war, and has always fought his own battles. His dialogue was pretty sickening, actually. Call me a liberal facist, if you'd like.
The whole thing is shot poorly. CHRIS KLEIN and ELIJAH WOOD almost put me to sleep with their constant whining. A complete disaster.
Plot: 3/10 - I'm pretty much tired of all war on terror plots.
Characters: 1/10 - I wanted to make this zero, but Ally Sheedy's small character was watchable.
Casting: 3/10 - Casting mainly talented actors to play characters with no depth to them is almost fitting.
Directing: 0/10 - Awful.
Advertising: 3/10 - The trailer made me think it might have something new to offer. Other than that, I was basically unaware of what I was getting into.
Dialogue: 3/10 - These three points once again come from Ally Sheedy.
Pacing: 3/10 - It kept going on and on and on, and I wanted it to stop.
Enjoyment: 1/10 - I didn't fall asleep and that's the best I can say.
Style: 0/10 - Pretty balanced with the directing effort.
Misc.: 0/10 - Nothing really stood out.
Overall: 17% F (avoid this movie)
In the future, the war on terror in the Middle East has gotten out of control and the dreaded draft has been put back in place. Three long time friends have all been picked and have thirty days to report for service. The three men proceed to act like they're the only people who exist with this dilemma and take long hard looks at their beliefs, their successes/failures, and their own mortality.
The character easiest to hate in my opinion is the played by JON BERNTHAL, who portrays a cab driver who doesn't need anyone. Ironically, he is the one who seems to be the character they attempted to be the heroic of the three, because he believes in the war, and has always fought his own battles. His dialogue was pretty sickening, actually. Call me a liberal facist, if you'd like.
The whole thing is shot poorly. CHRIS KLEIN and ELIJAH WOOD almost put me to sleep with their constant whining. A complete disaster.
Plot: 3/10 - I'm pretty much tired of all war on terror plots.
Characters: 1/10 - I wanted to make this zero, but Ally Sheedy's small character was watchable.
Casting: 3/10 - Casting mainly talented actors to play characters with no depth to them is almost fitting.
Directing: 0/10 - Awful.
Advertising: 3/10 - The trailer made me think it might have something new to offer. Other than that, I was basically unaware of what I was getting into.
Dialogue: 3/10 - These three points once again come from Ally Sheedy.
Pacing: 3/10 - It kept going on and on and on, and I wanted it to stop.
Enjoyment: 1/10 - I didn't fall asleep and that's the best I can say.
Style: 0/10 - Pretty balanced with the directing effort.
Misc.: 0/10 - Nothing really stood out.
Overall: 17% F (avoid this movie)
Saturday, January 12, 2008
First Sunday (aka God wants his money back)
Many people call the month of January, DUMPING GROUND. Others call it the studios' EXPERIMENT MONTH. First Sunday is a great example that I thought could go either way. In it's trailers, it had its moments. The cast looked spectacular. And the content had the potential to be laugh out loud funny.
Unfortunately, the writer/director David E. Talbert, decided to make this a Tyler Perry rip off, rather than making a name for himself, using his own style. Then again, maybe Tyler Perry Lite is his style. I mean, is that really a bad thing for him professionally? Perry's movies always open number one. They always have an unusual amount of staying power on the charts. While maintaining lackluster critical responses.
First Sunday's main flaw is that it starts at a crawling pace, and is unable to really get your attention until ICE CUBE and TRACY MORGAN finally enter the church. This took forever, causing an awkwardly long amount of time of zero crowd response in the theater I was in. My friend, Zanzibar Burcham, actually fell asleep for ten minutes and woke up when I tried stealing his Reese's Pieces. Once in the church, all the characters become absolute stereotypes and the rest of the poorly written film is seen in black and white. The good characters are saintly. The bad characters are cowardly and greedy.
I don't want to be entirely negative. Throughout the movie, I was touched by many of the messages of the struggles of fatherhood and growing up without a father in such a tough neighborhood. And while I am not a religious man, this church group didn't seem imposing or perfect, like portrayed in many movies of this genre. Also, Katt Williams is gosh damn funny.
Plot: 3/10 - Everything could be seen from miles away. Nothing new to offer. And very illogical.
Characters: 5/10 - While the great cast did everything they could to get the most out of their stereotypes, it was still average at best.
Casting: 8/10 - Fantastic. Katt Williams, Tracy Morgan, Regina Hall, Chi McBride, and Loretta Devine are a very memorable supporting cast.
Directing: 2/10 - David E. Talbert provides nothing new to recycled Tyler Perry plots.
Advertising: 4/10 - The site was weak. The poster was not so good. The trailer salvages a one score on this one.
Dialogue: - 3/10 - Mass stereotype and religious jokes, only funny because of the delivery in many cases.
Pacing: 2/10 - I mentioned Zanzibar's nap. I couldn't blame him.
Enjoyment: 4/10 - With all the negative, it still made me feel kind of good in the end.
Style: 1/10 - I felt like I've seen this movie before.
Misc: 5/10 - Once again, I say, Katt Williams is gosh damn funny.
Overall Grade: 37% F
Unfortunately, the writer/director David E. Talbert, decided to make this a Tyler Perry rip off, rather than making a name for himself, using his own style. Then again, maybe Tyler Perry Lite is his style. I mean, is that really a bad thing for him professionally? Perry's movies always open number one. They always have an unusual amount of staying power on the charts. While maintaining lackluster critical responses.
First Sunday's main flaw is that it starts at a crawling pace, and is unable to really get your attention until ICE CUBE and TRACY MORGAN finally enter the church. This took forever, causing an awkwardly long amount of time of zero crowd response in the theater I was in. My friend, Zanzibar Burcham, actually fell asleep for ten minutes and woke up when I tried stealing his Reese's Pieces. Once in the church, all the characters become absolute stereotypes and the rest of the poorly written film is seen in black and white. The good characters are saintly. The bad characters are cowardly and greedy.
I don't want to be entirely negative. Throughout the movie, I was touched by many of the messages of the struggles of fatherhood and growing up without a father in such a tough neighborhood. And while I am not a religious man, this church group didn't seem imposing or perfect, like portrayed in many movies of this genre. Also, Katt Williams is gosh damn funny.
Plot: 3/10 - Everything could be seen from miles away. Nothing new to offer. And very illogical.
Characters: 5/10 - While the great cast did everything they could to get the most out of their stereotypes, it was still average at best.
Casting: 8/10 - Fantastic. Katt Williams, Tracy Morgan, Regina Hall, Chi McBride, and Loretta Devine are a very memorable supporting cast.
Directing: 2/10 - David E. Talbert provides nothing new to recycled Tyler Perry plots.
Advertising: 4/10 - The site was weak. The poster was not so good. The trailer salvages a one score on this one.
Dialogue: - 3/10 - Mass stereotype and religious jokes, only funny because of the delivery in many cases.
Pacing: 2/10 - I mentioned Zanzibar's nap. I couldn't blame him.
Enjoyment: 4/10 - With all the negative, it still made me feel kind of good in the end.
Style: 1/10 - I felt like I've seen this movie before.
Misc: 5/10 - Once again, I say, Katt Williams is gosh damn funny.
Overall Grade: 37% F
Sunday, January 6, 2008
One Missed Call (aka Worst Boost Mobile Commercial Ever)
From the opening scene, this was a scattered, uninspired mess. Three characters die in quick order, and then we are left with Ed Burns and Shannyn Sossamon walking around a lot. And is it just me or does Ed Burns's presence tend to unintentionally bring down the morale in a movie theater? To be fair, there were many screams and gasps from the girls who got rides from their parents section. And that was the intended demographic, I think. However, the educated movie fans openly mocked the film all night. One thing that needs to stop is the filmmaker's spelling out of the plot devices as if the viewers are too dumb to figure it out on their own. The candy, the time on the phone, Taylor's speech on the front porch at the funeral, etc. Enough! If you can't think of something intelligent to fill the time with, just have Ana Claudia Talancon and Shannyn breathe heavy and sweat some more.
Plot: 3/10 (Worst Boost Mobile Commercial Ever)
Dialogue: 1/10 ("Maybe the spirit gets into the phone and attacks them")
Enjoyment: 3/10 (Mainly from the unintentional hilarity)
Pacing: 2/10 (Three quick deaths and a lot of waiting around)
Characters: 2/10 (Boring as hell)
Casting: 5/10 (Burns is a zero. Sossamon is a ten. It levels out.)
Directing: 2/10 (Bad introduction to America, Eric Valette)
Style: 2/10 (Bland, uninspired, watered down, etc.)
Advertising: 5/10 (The site is cool. The trailer is okay. The poster is a headscratcher.)
Misc.: 7/10 (A lot of cleavage. A knife through an eye. Oh, did I mention Shannyn Sossamon?)
Overall: 32% F
Plot: 3/10 (Worst Boost Mobile Commercial Ever)
Dialogue: 1/10 ("Maybe the spirit gets into the phone and attacks them")
Enjoyment: 3/10 (Mainly from the unintentional hilarity)
Pacing: 2/10 (Three quick deaths and a lot of waiting around)
Characters: 2/10 (Boring as hell)
Casting: 5/10 (Burns is a zero. Sossamon is a ten. It levels out.)
Directing: 2/10 (Bad introduction to America, Eric Valette)
Style: 2/10 (Bland, uninspired, watered down, etc.)
Advertising: 5/10 (The site is cool. The trailer is okay. The poster is a headscratcher.)
Misc.: 7/10 (A lot of cleavage. A knife through an eye. Oh, did I mention Shannyn Sossamon?)
Overall: 32% F
Friday, January 4, 2008
Release Date Update
The most anticipated movie on my list of January movies is no more. It has been moved back to February 22nd.
This makes the Cloverfield at number one decision a no brainer and gives February a new super power, in my opinion.
This makes the Cloverfield at number one decision a no brainer and gives February a new super power, in my opinion.
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